Astrology shows us many things about a person's life, including love, marriage, and the stumbles we may encounter in getting there. We all know the danger of a blind spot while driving a car. We all experience our own unique blind spots in love and relationships. These blind spots hold us back from the love we want and prevent us from moving forward. In other words, our personal patterns in dating and relating become habits that need to be altered so we can get what we desire in a positive partnership.
We are complex beings. As Carl Jung once said, "whatever is borne or done this moment has the qualities of this moment in time." This includes us. The zodiac contains archetypal structures called aspects, which describe the planets in their juxtapositions with each other. Aspects reveal our psychological patterns and processes that draw us to a certain type of person, or reveal the process through which attraction and romance occur. These patterns are unique to each of us, and no two people are the same. If the same relationship themes and patterns keep occurring with a less than positive result, there may be a personal blind spot to be uncovered before we can move forward and find a relationship that is right for us.
Astrology is a fabulous tool for finding our own blind spots. It can also uncover the blind spots in a specific relationship. Clarity brings understanding and change, and can release us from potentially years of pain and unhappy situations. With this knowledge we can move into a more suitable partnership, or a partnership with a more suitable person.
Most people tend to ignore, project or simply remain oblivious to parts of their personality and psychological processes around partnership. Planets in the 12th house give us usable information here, as do planets in the 7th house of love and marriage. Planets touched by Neptune or placed in Libra also provide clues.
One of the personal patterns or blind spots that damages our relationships, is projecting onto our lover that which we ourselves would like to be or attain. We all have an ascendant in our personal chart, which shows us how we project ourselves in the world. In other words, it's the face we show the world. You might be a Cancer Sun sign, but if your ascendant is Libra, this is how you come across to others.
One way to figure out if you are projecting is to simply reverse the natal chart. Let's say you are a Libra ascendant, and your descendant - or sign opposite - is Aries. The descendant shows the type of partner you attract. So, if we turn the Libra chart around, we now have an Aries ascendant rather than a Libra ascendant. Aries is the opposite of Libra and shows a person who lives within their own personal power and takes charge. Aries are known as go-getters, whereas Libra is known for procrastination.
By using this simple technique we can ask the question: are we fulfilling our own desires, or hoping to live vicariously through our partner? Perhaps the answer is to focus more on developing and fulfilling our own personal potential. Healing can occur by recognizing this or any other negative pattern, and making appropriate changes in our personal choices. After all, the only change most of us can really manifest is within ourselves. As we change ourselves, change occurs everywhere else, and our partners must respond.
One planet that is typically connected with personal blind spots is Neptune, especially in connection with the Moon, Venus and Saturn. Neptune is considered the planet of illusion, delusion and confusion - and this can include self delusion. Blind spots are common with a Venus-Neptune combination. Venus-Neptune transits can refer to ideal love, but the blind spot in this combination is often delusional love, or love that does not manifest itself in a healthy way.
This transit can show us those who are so intoxicated by another person, they can't see the flaws in their relationship - no matter how glaring these flaws are to other people. It is important to understand that a Neptune transit always involves some personal sacrifice. Love seems like a mystical, dreamy universe, and these individuals unwittingly sacrifice everything to be in love or with a particular person. Then one day, reality hits, things haven't worked out as hoped, and the realization comes that the object of their affection misrepresented themselves, or the longed for love has been a case of self delusion. At this point, deep disenchantment often ensues.
Neptune aspects also relate to sacrifices made for partners who have compulsions such as alcohol, drug or sex addiction. Love exists through a personal movie-screen of drama that is imbued with imagination. Love is truly blind for these individuals. Sometimes these Neptunian individuals fall into an obsessive, all-consuming quest for love that, in reality, does not exist for the other party. Or else they hold onto a relationship they considered ideal for years, even after it is long over.
The solution here is grounding, and the question is, 'at what point is personal sacrifice enough, what price are you really willing to pay? Or why does the need to experience escape and sacrifice exist in the first place?
I once consulted with a woman, I'll call her Clarisse, whose chart had Saturn square Neptune from her Fifth house of romantic love, that also involved the Moon (Moon rules our emotions). This transit showed that Clarisse found relationships disillusioning, and this feeling was tied into her early childhood experience. After months of watching her hang on to dead-end relationships that never really even got off the ground, I asked about her parents as the Moon rules family and early conditioning. Clarisse’s parents had been in a marriage for half a century, and she admitted her mother had been unhappy most of her married life, but hung on no matter what. A lot happened in the marriage/family life, including extra-marital affairs and gambling, all of which led to unhappiness for the entire family. No matter how difficult things became, Clarisse's mother constantly told her children that marriage was for life and they had to make the best of it.
After reflection, Clarisse decided her personal blind spot had been her mother (the Moon) and the early conditioning around marriage she had received as a child and young person. She was repeating the same pattern as her mother, and hanging onto dead-end relationships even after they were long over. And she wasn't even married or committed!
With this knowledge, she changed her pattern. If a man didn't call back after a certain period of time, she moved on, and stopped waiting for men who didn't fulfill her needs to begin with. By identifying this aspect in her natal chart, Clarisse uncovered her blind spot and was able to move on to a relationship with real promise.
To uncover personal blind spots, we must dig deep within and uncover the stories and patterns that have shaped our relationships and lives. Uncovering these patterns at times can be painful and difficult to accept. But the end result is true knowledge of ourselves and what we require. By uncovering these patterns, we prepare for a relationship that will fulfill our lives and let us truly bloom in love.