Your perfect man is not a sun sign!

Many people are under the misconception that finding their ideal mate is all about choosing the right sun sign. While the right sun sign will help, (and we all DO have a Sun sign) it is not the only, or even in some instances the most important consideration when comparing charts for compatibility or the potential of a future match between the two individuals. There is much, much more to take into consideration.

Comparing charts between two individuals in a branch of astrology known as synastry, or relationship comparison which shows us how individuals will react with one another, and how compatible they really are.

If there are not some pretty positive aspects between the two individuals the relationship will often never get off the ground. There might be attraction or a one sided interest, but things never go anywhere. Or, at times relationships simply become a battlefield of neurosis if the planets align in the wrong way.

The most important aspects in synastry (compatibility) involve Sun-Moon combinations, Moon-Moon,  Venus-Mars, Venus-Moon, Venus-Jupiter, Venus to ascendant-Sun or Moon or Jupiter, and Sun to Venus, Jupiter or other personal planets and Sun-Sun. There are many combinations an astrologer can look at as no two charts are the same, but the following are some of the most important:

The moon represents the emotional life in men and women, but in a man's chart it represents all the women in his life including his Mother, and eventually it will represent the wife if he marries.

Venus is equally important in a man's chart. Venus is indicative of the type of woman he desires and wants to be with. Venus is our desire nature, and represents the “type” a man is drawn to. The Moon however, represents the true emotional nature, and in a man’s chart wife, which may differ from his Venus.

Sometimes a man may feel attracted to one type of woman, but in the end he will generally marry the kind of woman represented by the Moon in his natal chart. Sometimes the Moon and Venus are in conflict,  in which case he may be attracted to one type, but marry another. When the moon and Venus are in harmony with each other, what he desires and wishes to marry are one and the same. But, this is not always the case.

An  important connection is a Sun-Moon aspect of some type. He could be a Sagittarius, and she a Taurus. But, if she has a moon in Sagittarius, she is an emotional Sagittarius to some extent and has a stronger emotional connection to him. It can work the other way. This can be one of the strongest connections in a chart, and works best if the woman's moon connects with the man's Sun.  If the above mentioned individuals met, they might be different in terms of Sun signs, but there would be an emotional connection. And of course that is only one connection, there would need to be more.

Another strong connection involves a moon-moon connection. For example, he could be a Sagittarius, she a Libra, but if he has an Aquarius moon, and she has a moon in Libra which is compatible with Aquarius, this gives a strong emotional connection as well. Sometimes these individuals feel psychically linked to each other.

Venus to Mars or the Sun aspects are always important in a long term relationship. Venus-Sun aspects give love and appreciation of one another, and Venus-Mars aspects can give love and sexual compatibility, and these are some important aspects to have in some form.

Venus/Sun/Moon/Mars/Ascendant/Jupiter are all good aspects to look for.

Moon/Ascendant or descendant often indicate a soul connection.

Sun/Jupiter connections can indicate a benefactor type of relationship or the partner can do no wrong.

Sun/Ascendant connections can indicate a soul or what we may perceive as karmic connection.

With Venus/Mercury aspects, warm feelings can develop as well as the ability to communicate well.

Mars/Jupiter aspects can make a relationship dynamic and can be good for money

Venus/Jupiter aspects between two people can indicate love, fun and this can be a good comparative money aspect.

Venus/Saturn can indicate longevity, positive money synastry and solid partnerships.

Venus/Uranus can indicate an exciting relationship but it may not be long term.

Venus/Neptune transits can indicate and intuitive, warm or spiritual relationship and at times love can be 'selfless.'

Venus/Pluto aspects can indicate intensity and depth of feelings.

Saturn/Moon aspects in soft angles can give stability, security and loyalty.

Mars/Mars aspects indicate dynamic interaction and often sexual attraction.

And finally compatible Sun-Sun aspects give a natural affinity with each other and a level of understanding.  Water is generally compatible with Water and Earth, Air with Air and Fire and Fire with Fire and Air. One of the more difficult Sun sign connections is Water and Fire.

None of these aspects alone are going to make for a great relationship. The astrologer must take into account all of the aspects between the two people, but this is a guide to some of the most important. Sometimes there are negative aspects that can be overcome by some of the more positive ones. Few charts are perfect, just as few relationships are perfect. We are all human and our charts show that. But for a long term commitment, there must be some of the above aspects to get us there in the first place and even more important, to keep the relationship together.

These aspects work best if they are in a trine, sextile, sometimes a conjunction, making them more harmonious. Squares oppositions and sometimes conjunctions, are less desirable and sometime negative, again depending upon the entire chart.

In the future I will write about some of the more negative aspects, and what to look out for, as well as a subject often left overlooked: financial synastry or the ability of two people to live in financial harmony together.